What Makes an “Attentive” Lover?

attentiveI sat there quietly sipping my tall G-and-T, while taking mental notes as two female friends discussed the shortcomings and virtues of men in their past. The Heisman Trophy of orgasm delivery went to a man described as an “attentive” lover. I pried.

“So, that means he went down on you regularly.”

“Of course.”

“That’s all it takes?”

“No, silly man. Other parts of a lady need attention.”

“Do tell.”

“We love our hair caressed, shoulders and feet rubbed, and back tickled. Important, as well, is that our mind is stimulated.”

“… with a feather?”

“Treat us properly. Remind us how beautiful we are, how fortunate you are to have us in your life, and do the icky things around the house that would fuck up our nails.”

“… with a vacuum?”

“You’re being silly. That wasn’t on the list, was it?”

“Fine. But, it all really comes down to if he can get you off.”

“I can get myself off.”

“Prove it.”

“See, being a perv is also not on the list.”

“Tell me I’m wrong. If a man does all those non-sexual things wonderfully, but refuses to head south, so-to-speak, he will be an inadequate lover.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“So, it all starts with him knowing how to rub you the right way—down there, on your hoo-hay.”

“Humor is an attractive trait, so I’ll give you that. Yes, of course, my man needs to know how to get me off in order to be described as an attentive lover. Also, it’s not prom night, so I have no problem steering his ship.”

“Well, hooray for that!”

“… not that it means he’ll follow my directions. That tends to be another issue—a man thinking he knows a better way. I’ve lived with my lady parts for forty-eight years. I think I’m best qualified to say how to ring my bell.”

“I’m listening.”

“Excellent trait.”

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“Insightful, too. Good for you.”