Walking Away from Angry Boys

Angry white boys spoke up and put the angry orange boy in the White House. Nobody likes dealing with angry people, but some of us are required to deal with them in the form of politicians, customers, reviewers, bosses, lovers, and family members. You can’t avoid most of those, but you certainly can remove angry lovers from your life.

The problem is many people don’t realize they have an angry lover. They think it’s normal to deal with fits and rage. Only when you’re dealing with an infant, is it normal. Otherwise, you need to shut that shit down before the mental abuse escalates into physical abuse.

If you’re unsure you’re dealing with an angry boy, allow me to give some examples.

When watching sports, and his team loses:

  • ANGRY – Yell at the TV and throw things.
  • NICE – Shrug and have another buffalo wing.

While driving behind a slow car in the passing lane:

  • ANGRY – Throw up his hands and call the driver names.
  • NICE – Sign, turn on his signal, pass on the right, and ignore the driver.

When unhappy with the food he ordered:

  • ANGRY – Demand to speak with (yell at) the manager or chef, and get a refund.
  • NICE – Don’t eat it. Don’t order it next time.

When he catches you masturbating:

  • ANGRY – Demand to know who you were fantasizing about, and yell, “Gross!”
  • NICE – Offer his assistance.

When you offer navigation suggestions:

  • ANGRY – Insists he knows where he is going and tells you to shut up.
  • NICE – Thanks you and offers to finger bang you, unless the kids are in the back seat.

When a pretty girl walks by:

  • ANGRY – Leers and denies doing so.
  • NICE – Notices, appreciates, and remarks about how beautiful you are.

When he makes a mistake:

  • ANGRY – Reminds you of a mistake you made.
  • NICE – Laughs and blames it on alcohol and age induced brain damage.

I could go on, but I assume you are getting the picture because you are exceptionally insightful. Oh, and I love those jeans. Are they new? My god, your ass is heavenly. Let’s drink wine and watch The Nutcracker. Want to? Ah, you’re the best. What did I do to deserve you? Lucky me. Hey, how about a foot rub? Dang, I love you so much, dear reader. Smooches. (Insert three or four emojis here.)

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.
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