Think of Trump as your Fiancé


Think of Trump as the man who just proposed to you, his woman (US citizens). He convinced you to accept his marriage proposal by:

  • Telling you how awful your ex-boyfriend treated you, and insisting he left you in a horrible condition.
  • Promising to fix you, because he has fixed numerous similar women.
  • Promising to protect you from evil people, insisting you hire someone to fence in your yard.
  • Promising to keep you healthy.
  • Insisting he’s the best man in the world for you.

Naturally, you asked to check these claims by doing a background check and speaking to his ex-girlfriends. Although he has checked yours, he won’t allow you to check his background, and insists all his ex-girlfriends lie.

As your wedding day approaches, you hear from numerous people that he’s cheating on you with a coworker. Anytime you ask your fiancé about it, he gets angry, screams at you, says they are lies, and demands you identify who told you this. He suggests you ask his best friends. You ask them. They defend him. Then, you receive “anonymous” emails naming her and detailing his affairs. You ask your fiancé about her. He says how wonderful she is, but denies sleeping with her. He suggests that you could be great friends with her.

You try to shrug it off. Then, you find numerous charges on his card at a florist, Tiffany, and Victoria’s Secret. You’ve received nothing from there. You ask you fiancé about the charges. He says they’re fake. Must be fraud. You look out your window during this argument and could swear you see his coworker sitting in her car in front of your house. You point her out. He says you’re paranoid. She drives off.

You check his phone and find numerous salacious text messages from numerous women. He insists his phone was hacked. You demand he delete these ex-girlfriends’ contacts from his phone. He agrees only to give that phone to his best friend, and use a new one.

Many of your friends and family members suggest you look more closely before marrying him. You’re worried it would increase his anger. You look in the mirror and begin to see the flaws he constantly points out. You fear he may be right.

You trust him.

You marry him.

He continues promising, yet delivering nothing he promised. He’s distant. He takes numerous business trips without you. More anonymous tips claim he is sleeping with his coworker. You ask for his phone. He refuses. You ask to check his emails. He refuses. You find he has opened his own credit card account. You ask to see it. He refuses. He continues telling you how flawed and paranoid you are. He insists you stop listening to liars.

What will you do?

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.