The Weak are Easily Offended

What am I supposed to watch in the morning while brewing my espresso? Cartoons? Perhaps, but Pink Panther isn’t on anymore. I find myself watching Fox News, mostly because of the lovely meteorologist. Still, I need to wade through ten minutes of nonsense before Chrissy shows me her patterns. Every morning, top stories include someone being offended by something said or done. Well, I’m offended that these self-entitled drama queens are so easily offended.

Maybe people are bored and starved for attention. They look and listen, not for entertainment, but for something to cause aghast. They interpret the deed as if it were done with the worst possible intention. Usually, that’s not the case, and the offended parties know it. Still, they play the victim and demand remuneration.

What’s worse is this causes an avalanche of insincerity. The offending party must backpedal and apologize, or pay for it. The offender isn’t sorry, but he’ll say he is to keep his job. Oh, and he must do so in front of the class.

Yick!

Look, if I call my buddy a stupid fucking monkey, he’ll probably laugh at me because I’m obviously aware he’s not an unintelligent fornicating primate. Same with douchebag—the insult of choice nowadays, it seems. When someone calls me a “douche,” I know she’s not likening me to a bag of vinegar. She finds my action silly, and she takes the easy way out by deploying the d-word. Frankly, I’m offended that she hasn’t the wits to come up with a proper insult. Silly twat!

The term “hate speech” has been way overused. There’s a huge difference between teasing and hating. I love my friends and family, and we pick on each other. We’re not bullying, we’re kidding. It’s fun, and good skin thickening exercise.

Why is stereotyping taboo? Who decided this? It’s an essential part of most comedy, whether the generalization is about gender, sexual preference, ethnicity, age, or religion. Now, if that stereotype is done with the intention of hurting someone physically or financially, of course it is wrong and should be stopped. But, when Chris Rock calls me a “cracka-ass-cracka,” that’s some funny shit right there (unless I’m carrying a whip, I suppose).

So, how do we stop society’s child from running to Mommy, constantly whining about being poked by Little Jimmy? Simple—just like effective parents, we ignore the brat, or tell him to grow up. If people stop being so sensitive, the media will stop aggrandizing offenses, lawyers will stop taking infantile clients, and judges will begin tossing sissies and their cases out to make room for actual crime hearings.

The media plays such a devious role in this. Take the racial slurs done on a frat bus recently in Oklahoma. Were those slurs hurtful? Perhaps. I suppose those chanting amateur drinkers might have offended one or two people on that bus. So, when the media gets a hold of the video, does the media find the chanting offensive? Yep. Does the media, therefore, realize that some of their viewers will be offended? Absolutely. Is it acceptable for the media to offend their customers? I guess so, otherwise, why run it? Oh, I see, the media feels it’s their duty to alert customers to the fact that there are some close-minded drunks in college. Shocking. Thank you, thought police.

The net result of that silliness on the bus, without the media getting involved would be a handful of idiots making a smaller handful of oversensitive iPhone reporters uncomfortable. With the media involved, you now have thousands of people offended and hurt by that handful of drunks. You also have a fraternity closed, students expelled, and horrible publicity for the university. Does that solve the problem? Is there really a problem, or were they just being silly drunk kids? Heck, I don’t know. Maybe those chanting students would have someday become business owners who maintain the racial bias and cause actual injury. Or, they might grow out of it, like most of us.

It’s in our power to change this. When you watch TV if you catch yourself saying, “Why is this news?” change the channel. This morning Fox News spent five minutes on Hillary Clinton emails. “Her explanation raises more questions,” the reporter bellowed. No, it doesn’t. It’s not fucking newsworthy, either, unless you’re trying to drum up bad publicity to help your guy make it to the oval office. In which case, YOU, Fox News, are far more devious and hurtful than any of those chanting Sooners.

About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.

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