My first audio book!

The audio book version of “How to Date Men” has been produced by Kevin Gisi and is about to be released.

Available now at Amazon and Audible.

Listen to a Sample (Chapter on How to Date Short Men):

How to Date Men – Now Available – Free on Kindle Unlimited

How-to-Date-Men_Paperback

So, you want a man?

Allow me to guide you through the jungle of hairy beasts.

99% of your romantic relationships have failed.

You are the common denominator, so logic would say you suck at relationships.

The problem isn’t in the picker, it’s in the picking.

In this book, I lend my expertise as the datee, not the dater. I’m the man who knows men, and how you can net the one you want (for the time being). True, we men are slightly different, so you need to approach your prey appropriately.

Don’t go hunting birds with hammers.

Let’s say you’d like to date a married man whom, I assume, you’re not married to. That’s quite an evil desire, according to some. I’m not here to judge. Perhaps you want to bed a man who desperately needs something new, and who will leave you alone thereafter. Fine. Well, you need to approach this fellow a certain way. (It’s in here.)

Learn how to net Mr. Right.

After reading this book you will know how to approach all types of men, including:

  • Older Men
  • Short Men
  • Brown Men
  • … and many others.

It works. I’ve gotten women laid.

“Phil guided me through meeting the man of my dreams. I think I’m ready for my next dream, please.” – Anonymous

Please buy the book, so I can continue my research …

and drink better wine while I’m at it.

How To Date The Last Man

lastmanThat’s the goal, right? You’ve waded through this sea of dysfunctional tadpoles to find the best fit. You’ve tolerated all sorts of masculine silliness. You’ve experienced varieties of physical and emotional approaches. From those, you’ve identified your preferences. Heck, knowing you, you’ve probably made a list. If your list reads, “I just want someone to respect me, and hold my hand,” you’ve come a long way, baby.

So, where is your prince? Chances are very good you’ve already met him. In fact, he could be in the same room with you as you read this. You’ve spent years fighting off Nature’s suggestion, haven’t you?

“He’s the one.”

“No. He’s a friend. I could never date him.”

“Yes, you could, and you should.”

“No. It would complicate everything. It wouldn’t work out, and I’d lose a treasured friendship.”

“… unless it simplifies everything and becomes so much more.”

“I don’t think we’re compatible.”

“You know you are. You’re chicken.”

“He slept with one of my friends.”

“Didn’t you set them up?”

“Yes, but if he was into me, he wouldn’t have done that.”

“How could he think you were into him, when you set him up with someone else?”

“I don’t know. He’s doesn’t want me like that.”

“Yes, he does. He wants you like no other, and if you both would stop wasting time building hurdles between you, maybe you’d find what was right in front of you all this time.”

Don’t argue with Nature. That’s a horrible long-term strategy. Go with her, and enjoy her fruits.

The first place you should have looked for your lifetime love was next to you, but, you didn’t. You ran through the forest, following the maze of paths carved by women before you. Sure, you netted a few broncos along the way, but where are they now? Better question: Where are YOU know?

Drop everything right this moment! (OK, don’t be so literal. Give me a paragraph, first.) If he’s in the room, walk over to him, take his face in your hands, look into his eyes, tell him you love him, and kiss him. I don’t give a shit if you’re at work, in church, or at Target. Do it. Don’t be cautious. Don’t regard anything or anyone around you—just him. Put this book down, and get in his face. If he’s not here, go to him. If he’s in another state, call him. Stop making excuses.

Now, put this fucking book down, and embrace the love you’ve earned.

How to Date ____ Men

INTRODUCTION

Odds are somewhere between 99% and 100% of your romantic relationships have ended. You are the common denominator, so logic would say you suck at relationships.

I wouldn’t.

You see, at this point, 100% of my relationships ended. Some served their purpose and ended nicely, while others definitely failed. I’ll not take or assign blame to either party involved. Olive oil and balsamic vinegar are each wonderful, but they don’t mix. The problem is in the mixing.

In this book, I lend my expertise as the datee, not the dater. I’m the man who knows men, and how you can net the one you want (for the time being). True, we men are slightly different, so you need to approach your prey appropriately.

Don’t go hunting birds with hammers, my dear.

Let’s say you’d like to date a married man whom, I assume, you’re not married to. That’s quite an evil desire, according to some. I’m not here to judge. Perhaps you want to bed a man who desperately needs something new, and who will leave you alone thereafter. Fine. Well, you need to approach this fellow a certain way. (It’s in here.)

What inspired me to write this, aside from desperately needed therapy I get from venting? Amazon recommended a book for me, like they do, and usually do pretty well. The book was entitled, How to Date Asian Women.

I shit you not.

I thought, What could possibly be any different about Asian women, and what sort of freak(s) would need a fucking book to lay it out? I’m sure it’s chock full of little ditties like “Best to avoiding binding her feet.”

Then I considered all the different breeds of men there are, including, but certainly not limited to:

  • Short
  • Older
  • Hairy
  • Feminine
  • Overweight
  • Brown
  • Drunken
  • Golfers

I’ve got plenty of these breeds in my life. I witness the dysfunctional approaches of interested parties. I slap my growing forehead and exclaim, “You’re going about him all wrong, darling!”

So, whether you’ve targeted or already adopted a man-puppy, Coach Phil is here to help. Have a seat on my knee, ingest your social lubrication of choice (wine is fine), and pay attention. He’ll be yours in no time, kiddo.