Recipe: Bachelor’s Dessert Lasagna

Also known as Ice Box Cake, I could eat a whole pan of this in one night … then hate myself even more.

Make sure you have a square glass lasagna pan. If you don’t, go buy a fucking cake pop at Starbucks. If you do, hit the grocery store and pick up bananas, graham crackers, vanilla pudding, and chocolate pudding.

Simple steps, even a dumb shit like me could follow:

  1. Line the bottom of the pan with graham crackers. No, don’t fucking crumble them.
  2. Cover it with thinly-sliced bananas. (Bananas are fucking good for you. Do it.)
  3. Pour chocolate pudding over them.
  4. Make another layer of graham crackers, then sliced bananas.
  5. Pour vanilla pudding over that layer.
  6. Crumble up some graham crackers and sprinkle the little shits over the top.
  7. Foil that fucker and put it in the fridge.
  8. Tell your roommate you will impale him on a spike if he touches it.
  9. Wait a few hours, cut a square like you (or your mom) would cut lasagna, slap it on a plate, and start shoveling.

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Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.

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