I don’t know if this just comes with age or what, but I’m less patient with my relationships when I should probably be more patient. The first sign of any drama, no matter how sexually starved I happen to be, and I lose her number. Perhaps, this makes me unpopular with the ladies. Maybe, I’m getting a reputation.


What I am hoping is that by reading my take on the whole mating game, you’ll have a better appreciation for whatever predicament you’re in, be that anything between marital bliss and been lovin’ your fist.

Sure, I’m bitter sometimes. Aren’t you? How many times do you let karma kick you before you become jaded like me, and begin to expect it? So, you’re pissed. He dumps you for a skank-hole. Go ahead and be hurt–that’s natural. It’s an ego slap. As you get older, you’ll begin to take these more in-stride. Sure, you’ll complain about it to a friend, relative, or co-worker, but you’ll get over it.

Look at this book as my way of getting over it. A collection of irreverent, sarcastic, vulgar, crude, whatever-you-call-it essays containing my fucked-up perception of life, which might actually lower my blood pressure by writing, and generate a giggle or two for the reader.

Before we go any further, let me warn you that I love to cuss. Fucking love it. You’re going to read plenty of bad words, so reading aloud is strongly discouraged unless you’re in church.

Also, since I have taken certain liberties with our language, and I am a bit whiny and insensitive, I’ve decided to enhance this tome with–drum roll, please–recipes!

Cheers, my dears.

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.