Do you know what a neg is? I bet you use it and may not be aware of the power it has over people. Somebody definitely has been using negs on you. He’s that person who annoys you, but you find oddly attractive. She’s that atypical woman who you’re convinced you’d never hook up with, but want to. They get under your skin and stroke your mental G-spot.

A neg is a light insult wrapped in the package of a compliment. Pick-up artists (yes, I have read many of their books) use this skill with great success when approaching women who are out of their league. It works because it elicits an unexpected reaction. There’s little defense, even if you see it coming.

Here’s a great example. My friend, Hank, will carry a piece of lint in his pocket. When he targets a hot woman, he’ll approach her from the side or behind, gently tug on the sleeve of her top, and show her the piece of lint while saying, “I’m sorry, but this little bugger has been driving me crazy. I just had to remove it so it wouldn’t detract from your beauty. Or, is this a pet of yours?”

Women fall for it every time.

Another strategy is to point out something to make the high and mighty feel insecure. It brings her down to Hank’s level.

“Aw, did you know you have the cutest little wrinkle between your eyes when you smile?”

“Do gay guys hit on you all of the time? If I were straight, you’d be my ideal mate.”

“What an interesting pair of jeans. Who makes them?”

“I see you’re drinking chardonnay. My buddy, the bartender, calls it ‘Cougar Crack.’ I wonder why older women like it so much.”

“I could swear that we met once before. Did you have wavy blond hair recently? I think you dated my nephew.”

“You have the cutest accent. I can’t place it. Say the word ‘onion’ and remember there’s no ‘g’ in it.”

“You remind me a little bit of Joan Rivers. I mean, in her younger years, of course.”

“Oh my god, you ordered the bread pudding. It looks delicious. I wish I could eat it, but I’d need to spend hours in the gym to burn off all of that fat.”

“Where did you buy those earrings? It’s my mother’s birthday next week and she’d love them, I know it.”

“Your arms look really buff. I bet lesbians hit on you all of the time.”

“Damn, you’re tall. You must have a hard time finding men tall enough to date.”

“I’d buy you a drink, but you seem like you’re already tipsy. I wouldn’t want you to lose control and do something crazy like take me home and make sweet love to me until sunrise.”

“You run marathons? Really? That’s impressive. You still couldn’t keep up with me.”

“Wow, you have a great arm, for a girl.”

“Have you always had that cute dimple? It’s unique because you only have one. Most people have two.”

“You look tired. Did you have a rough week? Let me buy you a drink.”

“You look like you lost weight. Have you been sick?”

Other strategies include waiting for her to return from the bathroom, dropping a sheet of toilet paper at her feet, gently moving her, and whispering in her ear, “I noticed you were dragging along an unwelcome friend.”

How good was this post?

Click on a star to rate it or just sit there and stare.

Average rating / 5. Vote count:

No votes so far. Oh, for fuck's sake, help a brother out. Click a star, puh-lees.

Since you found this post good ...

Follow me on social media.

About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.