How to use impressions to your advantage.

Read this and I’ll show you how to become a millionaire within a week, without working. I’ll make your boobs bigger, penis firmer, and waist smaller. You’ll drive a nicer car, travel to exotic destinations, and wow all of your friends at dinner, karaoke, and the poker table.

Bullshit, I know, but if I give you the impression that I have something valuable to offer, you might not slam the door in my face; you might give me a few minutes to hear me out. That could turn into hours, days, or weeks. With a little misdirection, I can sell you something that’s not quite what I promised when we met. But, you’re happy enough, and I’m successful.

Success in life is all about opportunity. Those who have the most opportunities usually succeed better than those who don’t. This isn’t New Age, Self-Help nonsense; it’s just the way it is.

It works whether you’re shopping, gaining access, applying for a job, or looking for a romantic connection. If you give the impression of something impressive, you’ll get a deal, bypass the line, be hired, or book a date with someone you may have thought was way out of your league. I see it every day. Some people are more gullible. Some are too kind to say “no.” Some appreciate the effort.

Here’s an example: I recently bought a fancy sports car. Why? Because I love driving, and just knowing that I whiz past just about anyone is something I find rewarding. What impression does it give?

  1. He’s rich.
  2. He’s stupid and careless because he went into major debt to buy this car.
  3. The expensive car is supposed to make up for his small penis.
  4. He’s selling drugs or something else illegal.

Scarce is the person (even from among friends and family members) who sees that acquisition as a reward to myself for all the hard work I’ve done. Surely, some people don’t care (and those are my favorite people). Yet, the impression I give is usually not the impression intended.

Guys use this strategy for mating calls. We can give an inaccurate, yet effective impression by:

  • Wearing expensive watches, suits, shoes, or sunglasses. (Note, the clever man wears good replicas.)
  • Persuading or hiring an attractive, platonic friend to join him around other prey.
  • Spreading rumors about himself regarding wealth, job titles, or athletic ability.
  • Listening and acting genuinely interested in the mate, then presenting an offer to make her life better. This can be as simple as offering a glass of fine Cabernet after she discloses her love of wine, or daring her to join him on his business trip to Cabo. (A hint of danger excites as well.)
  • Chasing away a nuisance rival.
  • Making her laugh. (Shit. I’m giving away my secrets.)
  • Hiring a bodyguard or a limo.
  • Befriending bar and restaurant owners. If he gets special attention, she gets damp.
  • Being mysterious.

Sure, after any significant amount of time, the evil plot can be exposed. That can cause immediate termination and regret, but often it doesn’t, because nobody likes having buyer’s remorse. The mating target often twists this in her mind so she feels less gullible.

“He did all of this just to get close to me. He must really love me.”

Yep, that’s it. Now, about those millions…

How good was this post?

Click on a star to rate it or just sit there and stare.

Average rating / 5. Vote count:

No votes so far. Oh, for fuck's sake, help a brother out. Click a star, puh-lees.

Since you found this post good ...

Follow me on social media.

About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.