Don’t be so hard on yourself.


Do you ever stand in front of the mirror and think or say things about yourself you’d never tolerate coming from another person? We all do that. It’s sad. The next time you’re tempted to seek answers from the person in the mirror insist upon kindness.

Here, imagine I’m your mirror.

“Ugh, I feel fat. Why can’t I lose this extra weight around the middle?”

“You’re not fat; you’re healthy. You don’t have any magazine covers to shoot, and those are all airbrushed anyway. I love your curves.”

“More wrinkles. I guess it’s time for Botox.”

“You earned every wrinkle you have and if you keep trying to smooth them out, you’re going to make it worse. You know how you can pick out every person who has had work done, right? It doesn’t look natural. Stop fighting it and age gracefully. People will love you with or without a few wrinkles.”

“I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

“It was a mistake, darling. We all make them. You will either learn from it or beat yourself up and be destined to repeat it. Why don’t you forgive yourself and shrug it off?”

“I love this person so dearly. Why isn’t my love returned?”

“Because that person is unaware, selfish, or simply not worthy. See your love as a donation and move on to a more deserving recipient.”

“Gosh, I look horrible in this outfit. I don’t know what to wear.”

“Actually, you look splendid, but if you feel more comfortable in something else, change. Your attitude shows more about you than your outfit does. Wear confidence and you’ll be admired.”

“Everything seems to be spinning out of control. Why can’t I catch a break?”

“We all need to play through our slumps. Put away that white flag, pick yourself up, and try again.”

“I’m so tired of seeing all the happy couples. Why can’t I find my soul mate?”

“Don’t assume that every couple is happy. The most attractive people are those who are happy alone because they don’t place all the pressure of their happiness upon their partners. Do what it takes to appreciate your serenity and watch the soul mates come knocking.”

“I can’t believe that person hurt me.”

“Instead of seeing it as something he did to you, see it as something he did for himself. Few people wish to cause pain to others. They’re too selfish or blind to realize the effect their actions have.”

“It’s off to another depressing day at work.”

“Quit. Go to work and resign today, then start looking for the job you want. It’s out there. Don’t worry about the salary. When you find work you love to do, the pay will come. The ideal job is waiting for you, not waiting to come to you.”

Do whatever it takes to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. Think about how attractive a confident person is to you. You’re no different. If you continue abusing yourself, you’ll invite abusive people into your life. Praise yourself and you’ll be surrounded by appreciative people.

I, for one, think you’re magnificent. Now, pay it forward.

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.