Things to know about dating. - Author Phil Torcivia

November 11, 2019

Gorillas

Pretty women around 30 sat to my left barside doing what they do: chat, laugh, and nibble. I admired, smiled and returned to cradling…

November 5, 2019

I love cocktail servers. They tend to be very wise, well-seasoned women who are unafraid to speak their minds. Often, the novices come in…

October 1, 2019

Bumble keeps telling me I’m quite the catch. Bumble is full of shit. This is not flattery. This is simply Bumble trying to get…

September 13, 2019

All right, you mean couples. Stop picking on me. I’m sensitive (especially around the taint). Maybe I want to be single. Ever think of…

September 4, 2019

“Tell me something. Do you work tomorrow?” “Yes, Buddy. I work at six.” “Six p. m.?” “Yes.” “So, you have all day free. What…

August 24, 2019

I’ve been reading a few articles about how singles have become too passive to find love. (Uh, guilty.) The typical reasons given include too…

August 9, 2019

Cats. My drinking buddy, Hank, was telling me about an interesting night he had that involved pets. I wondered how that night would have…

August 8, 2019

Had a beer with my old buddy Hank last night. Whenever I begin drying up on the whole writing thing, Hank provides great material….

August 2, 2019

I had a revelation last night after another train-wrecked attempt at a relationship: The nicer I am, the more emotional and physical messes I…

July 23, 2019

A woman I was about to ask out on a first date laid out her expectations clearly as she complained that too many men…

July 2, 2019

It’s always good to have a backup, right? Spare tire. Toothpaste. Roll of toilet paper within reach. All quite essential. So, doesn’t it make…

June 28, 2019

Ladies, do you have a close male friend whom you love platonically? He’s the friend you had one drunken sexual encounter with. You both…

June 20, 2019

A recent date of mine confessed that her exes could not keep up with her sex drive. “Challenge ax-fucking-septed,” I bellowed mightily. Then Ole…

June 18, 2019

Do you ever walk around and talk to your plants? I do. They don’t answer, so technically I am lecturing them. I’m sure they…

June 12, 2019

I’ve been training my entire life for this role. I’m sizing up my rocking chair and AM radio. Beware, neighbors, Grandpa Philsy is coming…