Career Woman – Relationship not required.


I met a self-proclaimed career woman last night. She educated me on the fine art of juggling men without falling in love with any of them. I was fascinated. It was one of the rare times when sweet femininity was obscured by evil male traits.

“I’m concentrating on my career. That’s what’s important to me right now. I don’t have time for love.”

“So, you’re not dating?”

“I’m dating. Met two different guys last week, and I have an arrangement with a third.”

“Arrangement? He walks your dog while you’re away?”

“No, silly. Sex. No strings attached.”

“Wow, that sure beats pet-sitting.”

“I know! This way I don’t have a needy guy distracting me. I have a great opportunity at work, which doesn’t come around that often for someone my age. I need to nail it, then I can consider actually dating someone.”

“Ah. So, these guys just deliver orgasms and leave?”

“Sometimes. In fact, I gave one a heads-up that I was coming here tonight, so it isn’t awkward if we run into each other.”

“Why would it be awkward? Sounds to me like it would be convenient.”

“What if I’m here with another guy? I wouldn’t want him to feel weird.”

“Isn’t that the point of the arrangement: We’re not allowed to feel weird about anything non-sexual?”


“Ugh. He and you. I don’t feel weird about much other than stepping barefoot in cat puke.”

“Interesting. I mean, if one of us is out, and the other is on a date at the same place, it can be weird. I really wouldn’t give a shit, but he might.”

“So, he likes you.”


“What about the other two guys? Don’t they like you?”

“Well, I haven’t been able to hook up with the one yet. Our schedules are off-kilter.”

“And, I bet that’s the guy you’re most anxious to hook up with.”


“All right. To summarize, you want to climb the corporate ladder, and enjoy a little penetration on the side, in the way that some would enjoy going to a movie–you want to be entertained for a few hours, and left to return home without a male barnacle.”


“You’re pretty fucking awesome.”

“I know.”

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.