Beware of the conqueror.

Men love challenges. Wise women present themselves as marvelous prizes to be earned. Nobody likes a pushover, except after a long drought. So, it all adds up: You want him; he wants you; you wink and run; he chases; you slow; he catches; you reward; he feasts; you bask in the afterglow. Then, he leaves behind a rotting carcass.

What the heck just happened?

You’ve been conquered.

I’m sure I’ve done this. I’m not proud because it’s a mean thing to do. The game isn’t supposed to end with a satisfied hunter who leaves such a mess behind. The bountiful relationship should be shared and rationed to last. Some people are greedy. Or, maybe it’s fear arising from the realization that the good fortune could be fleeting. It could also be pride guiding the hunter to seek even more elusive prey.

If you’re a woman in a power position, you’re going to have men looking to conquer you. It’s like that silly carnival game of ring the bell. He wants to ring your bell, Sugarwell, and prove his worthiness and proclivity to the other hunters. Don’t feel cheapened. Don’t feel used. Don’t feel naive. It’s all part of the dating jungle game. Shrug it off and use your scent to attract the next hunter. Eventually, you’ll encounter the wise beast who knows how to share and ration.

Financially successful, popular, and powerful people are prime targets. Their skepticism keeps most hunters at bay. Yet, some sneak through. If the hunter is given a taste and then kicked aside, the hunter leaves dejected and often becomes obsessive. This makes the kind prey sad and tempted to give in to something unhealthy. How do we strike a balance?

Don’t be discouraged and shut down. Look for the signs. After the first (always a bit awkward) night of nookiness, if the hunter hides in his cave, it could be because:

  • He’s embarrassed about his performance.
  • His recent ex isn’t completely out of the picture.
  • You two didn’t connect emotionally while connecting physically.
  • He freaked out because he had low expectations but it was wonderful, which he wasn’t ready for.
  • You’ve been conquered.

Good luck figuring out which is the case.

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About the author

Author of humorous essays about relationships and lifestyles.
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