Archives for January 2015

How to Date Men – Now Available – Free on Kindle Unlimited

How-to-Date-Men_Paperback

So, you want a man?

Allow me to guide you through the jungle of hairy beasts.

99% of your romantic relationships have failed.

You are the common denominator, so logic would say you suck at relationships.

The problem isn’t in the picker, it’s in the picking.

In this book, I lend my expertise as the datee, not the dater. I’m the man who knows men, and how you can net the one you want (for the time being). True, we men are slightly different, so you need to approach your prey appropriately.

Don’t go hunting birds with hammers.

Let’s say you’d like to date a married man whom, I assume, you’re not married to. That’s quite an evil desire, according to some. I’m not here to judge. Perhaps you want to bed a man who desperately needs something new, and who will leave you alone thereafter. Fine. Well, you need to approach this fellow a certain way. (It’s in here.)

Learn how to net Mr. Right.

After reading this book you will know how to approach all types of men, including:

  • Older Men
  • Short Men
  • Brown Men
  • … and many others.

It works. I’ve gotten women laid.

“Phil guided me through meeting the man of my dreams. I think I’m ready for my next dream, please.” – Anonymous

Please buy the book, so I can continue my research …

and drink better wine while I’m at it.

Top Ten Things You Need to Know Before Attempting to Date Men

top10You are embarking on a perilous trek, my sweet. Be prepared, or be home on the sofa with five cats and a big bowl of ice cream. Remember these while desperately seeking stupid:

  1. Men fart … a lot.
  2. If a man can’t get it hard for you, his problem isn’t physical, it’s mental. Fuck Viagra. Find a new man.
  3. A man with a hard-on will agree to almost anything.
  4. Men fantasize too, especially when they have you doggy-style.
  5. Most pets are cleaner than most men.
  6. Logic does not apply when reading instructions, asking directions, or rooting for sports teams.
  7. Getting hit in the nuts is the most painful thing he can endure, and the funniest thing in the world when it happens to someone else.
  8. He thinks about having sex with your friends, sometimes while he’s having sex with you.
  9. No matter how much sex you give him, he will beat off in the shower. Watch your step.
  10. Men haven’t evolved … much.